I’m afraid of losing her

i feel like everyone would be better off with me dead

I would rather play with kids then people my own age, I still like toys

I know I am going to relapse soon and I’m afraid the longer I wait, the worse it will be.

Hi

I feel so stressed out because I am not getting the marks I want in school and it’s like no matter how hard I try, my grades just WON’T GO UP! I have a tutor, I go to extra tutorials, I study at home and I write good notes! I can’t spend all my time inside because I get upset and depressed and have the serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out) and I want a social life! I want to hang with my friends and my “boyfriend”. (Special guy that I like who has mutual feelings but we don’t date.) I just wish I knew how to keep up on my school work and have a social life at the same time. I worry about all of this PLUS I’m homesick. Being a foster kid 2 hours away from home and I only visit my family so often. I miss my old friends, old school, old extra curricular activities! I wish I could go home but I can’t, so I’m stuck here in a foster home, with barely anyone to trust. I feel like nobody understands how I feel. I feel like I can’t trust anybody that I talk to, etc. Ugh!

I worry about being myself but still not being good enough.

My friend like this guy that is totally not interested and I think she knows that but she keeps talking about him and it gets annoying sometimes but I don’t know what to say to her because I don’t wanna be rude. I’m just worried that she will try to get close to him and he will totally reject her

I feel like everything that’s ever happened to me is all my fault and I could have prevented it all by being different than I am

I’m worried that one day my anxiety and panic is going to become too much for my boyfriend to handle and he’s going to leave me.

It was a hard day at school, I knew it was coming when I smelt the alcohol, and the next thing I heard was “17 years and you’re still a joke”

Everything’s changing and I’m not quite sure I like it.

I worry about disappointing my parents they seem to never be happy with what I do and what makes me happy! This makes me upset

Are my good thoughts blurring with the bad ones to the point where I can’t even differentiate them anymore? Are the thoughts that I once thought to be good actually horribly self-destructive and I’ve been hurting myself this whole time? I don’t know. I honest to god don’t know anymore.

Sometimes i think about suicide and cutting and my boyfriend tells me to talk to him about it but when i do he just says you have a perfect life and itd be selfish if you killed yourself (i suffer from anxiety and depression) i dont know what to do

I haven’t had a good day in a month and a half i always tend to find something bad in the day to make my self feel worse, i have no motivation anymore to do anything but i’m too afraid of missing school.

I’m scared that if I make a worng move I’ll get bullied

I will lose the ones I love

That I’ll never be happy

My body will never be how I want.