I’m just not myself anymore 🙁 I lost interest in everything

Before I go places I’m always anxious that I will get dizzy or overwhelmed while I’m there.

I hate my anxiety. I refuse to take my meications because they make me feel like a zombie and thats not who I wannt to be. A dra is my medicine.. it helps me do my daily activities not completly anxiety – less but I feel myself . I worry that my anxiety will never go away I strugle every morning to get up and I always wake up crying for no reason. If I have a dra im able to pull myself together, I dont like to be dependent on it but its what helps me best and I worry that ill never be able to just wake up with a smile for once and go on about my day without it. I dont ever crave for it but when im depressed or anxious I cant calm down without it and im so easy to trigger into being anxious or depressed because my mind is always so jumble with memories and I take everything to heart. Its so hard to juggle everything in my life. Eveyday is another obtscle to set me back a step

Why this app doesn’t have any information on gender identity….

This is less so a worry and more of a hope for the future. To anyone who is struggling i want you to know that you are beautiful , amazing, strong people and you will overcome these difficulties! I myself struggle with anxiety and depression and i know what it feels like to feel i have no purpose, but everyday i remind myself of the great things i have accomplished and the great things i will accomplish in the future. I am NOT a waste of space and i will continue to strive and to find new ways for myself and my peers to feel more comfortable in their own skin. Everyone deserves to be happy, everyone deserves friends, and everyone deserves a support system. You all can and will accomplish amazing things!! You are amazing!! Dont forget that 🙂

That I’ll be a “loner” forever.

I worry that my boyfriend will move on to another girl

Ive been very upset and Depressed when i got bullied

Basically my life consists of this big mystery illness. Constantly nauseous and vomiting, but no other signs of any kind of sickness. Some doctors wanna tell me it’s my anxiety and panic attacks, but some other doctors (like my psychiatrist) are completely against that idea, and are positive that is not it. I used to make myself puke to get rid of water weight, which was fine because I was in control, but not it’s completely out of my hands. In hospital every other day, ambulances, being admitted Abe never leaving with an answer to this mystery that has ruined my life so profoundly, but has also helped in a way. Last time I weighed myself is when I got admitted this week, it’s been several days since I’ve got to check again. I’m anxious. I don’t wanna eat and vomit, I don’t wanna eat and blow up and get even fatter because I haven’t been able to eat in so long while in hospital. My weight on the hospital scale was 61kg, that’s scares me. I want to get better but I don’t want to get fat, my mind and body are telling me two different things. When I’m extremely sick I find myself miserable, sometimes I’ll even pray to make it stop, I’m not religious but it gives me hope. But then when I feel better, I just find myself trying to find ways to keep loosing weight, nothing works as effectively as the puking so sometimes I even find myself wishing to get sick again. I know that sounds selfish and it’s not the hospital attention I want, I just wanna be thin. And beautiful. I just want skinny. Light as a feather, skinny as a rail. I want to BE skin and bones. And it’s tearing my life apart..

Why can’t my life be over? I wish I could get a serious illness to die from, I don’t want to have a painful death. I do not want to suffer. But then I feel selfish for all the individuals fighting for their lives, and for my family, but why couldn’t they be happy for me and just say, “she’s finally where she wanted to be” Six years, six years in and out of hospitals, off and on medications. Will my life always be like this? I don’t want to cause pain to myself because I experience enough pain in my everyday life, that’s why I want it to end. Will an overdose make me suffer?