I’m afraid of losing her

i feel like everyone would be better off with me dead

I would rather play with kids then people my own age, I still like toys

I know I am going to relapse soon and I’m afraid the longer I wait, the worse it will be.

Hi

I feel so stressed out because I am not getting the marks I want in school and it’s like no matter how hard I try, my grades just WON’T GO UP! I have a tutor, I go to extra tutorials, I study at home and I write good notes! I can’t spend all my time inside because I get upset and depressed and have the serious case of FOMO (fear of missing out) and I want a social life! I want to hang with my friends and my “boyfriend”. (Special guy that I like who has mutual feelings but we don’t date.) I just wish I knew how to keep up on my school work and have a social life at the same time. I worry about all of this PLUS I’m homesick. Being a foster kid 2 hours away from home and I only visit my family so often. I miss my old friends, old school, old extra curricular activities! I wish I could go home but I can’t, so I’m stuck here in a foster home, with barely anyone to trust. I feel like nobody understands how I feel. I feel like I can’t trust anybody that I talk to, etc. Ugh!

I worry about being myself but still not being good enough.

My friend like this guy that is totally not interested and I think she knows that but she keeps talking about him and it gets annoying sometimes but I don’t know what to say to her because I don’t wanna be rude. I’m just worried that she will try to get close to him and he will totally reject her

I worry that I’m not good enough , I worry that I’ll never find anyone who accepts the way I am , I try so hard to make other people happy but all I’m doing is making everyone hate me more and more

I’m worried my anxiety is preventing me from being myself.

I’m worried that my boyfriend will catch feelings for his female friends

The only thing to fear is fear itself

I worry about disappointing my parents they seem to never be happy with what I do and what makes me happy! This makes me upset

Are my good thoughts blurring with the bad ones to the point where I can’t even differentiate them anymore? Are the thoughts that I once thought to be good actually horribly self-destructive and I’ve been hurting myself this whole time? I don’t know. I honest to god don’t know anymore.

Sometimes i think about suicide and cutting and my boyfriend tells me to talk to him about it but when i do he just says you have a perfect life and itd be selfish if you killed yourself (i suffer from anxiety and depression) i dont know what to do

I haven’t had a good day in a month and a half i always tend to find something bad in the day to make my self feel worse, i have no motivation anymore to do anything but i’m too afraid of missing school.

I’m scared that if I make a worng move I’ll get bullied

I will lose the ones I love

That I’ll never be happy

My body will never be how I want.