I’m so sad and idk why! I just want to be happy but for some reason I can’t. I want to recover from anorexia but I want to be stick thin. I hate this.

About going to a new school

I have OCD and sometimes it’s really hard…

I used to think I knew a lot. I do know a lot, I guess. In the sense of like reading books and doing math, im okay at it. When I think about life though, when I think about my life and just the general way the world is today I feel like an idiot and I feel pretty scared.

When ever I come home from school I lock my self in my room for the whole day, I do this because I lost all my friends every since grade 6 and I can’t talk to my mom about this anymore because she just says that I’m being shy around them…I feel alone, no one wants to be around me.

I am constantly anxious about my health and well being.

Embarrassing myself in front of the boy I like.

I’m afraid that I will be judged badly throughout my life because I don’t believe in god.

I am a weirdo

Will my mom freak if I tell her I’m bisexual

That I won’t recover

My grades aren’t good enough:( I’m afraid I won’t graduate

My sexuality is confusing me … I just want to figure it out already

my dad smokes. I’m worried that it is going to take his life

This past January I was told I was depressed, from a chemical imbalance in my brain. It didn’t start that way there is a whole story how it has gotten to this point. but I don’t know how to explain to make things sound simple, but the thing is depression is not simple and I can’t explain to others to make them understand. Some days are harder than others and I miss a lot of school sometimes and I don’t know what to tell my friends so I just say I’m sick, they think I fake because I come to school fine the next day. It’s hard hiding apart of you from the rest of the world.

I’m scared people are lying about me being a good singer

I am worried that with all the people complaining to you, with (EG) “omg so ands smith said that I looked like I changed my weight by one pound like oh my god” while real people are dealing with physical bullying, and have it far worse, (even though everyone complains about something important to them) than the people that complain for the sake of it. I can relate to the fact of bullying!!

That no guy will ever love me

Okay , so I’ve always been a little chubby I know that but recently with the stress of school and trying to moniter my every move so that I’ll fit in with the people I like, the pressure is getting to me and I turn to one thing that makes it Better , food. Yea I know this sounds extremely pathetic but it’s like a drug and I can’t break free. My desire to be thin and to be fit is very strong but by need to indulge in little pieces of happiness gets to me every time. It starts out with stress and then I turn to the food which then Inturn makes me happy for a short period of time, but after I feel so gross and I know it’s not helping my problem and it’s making it worse and then I spiral down into a pit of worrys and horror. So as usually when I’m faced with these situation I indulge. This probably sounds crazy but it’s a vicious cycle that is impossible to get out of. I need to stop for my physical health and my mental health cause it’s affecting my brain so much to the point I don’t wanna leave my house with out wanting to just wear a garbage bag. But I can’t and I need help. This is an eating dissorder. No it’s not the way you would usually think of an eating disorder to be , but it is and I know I need help but I don’t know where to start.

That I’m loosing my best friend